by Natazzz - Contributing Writer
I came out around the time of the new millennium and like many dykes who are newly out, for a while I was obsessed with anything that was gay. So one of the things I did was to go on Amazon and buy pretty much any queer DVD I could get my hands on. For all of you who are contemplating something similar, let me just say; do not do it! You see, you might be starved for lesbian content, but many lesbian movies are just very very bad. You don’t want all those crappy DVDs in your DVD collection, trust me. Rent them instead. One of the worst queer DVDs in my collection is probably "The Girl".
"The Girl" is the 2000 movie about an affair between two women who meet at a nightclub in Paris. It was directed by Sande Zeig and based on a short story by her partner, French feminist writer Monique Wittig. It was the first time Wittig wrote a screenplay in the English language and let’s just say that it shows.
I would tell you the plot of the movie, but it does not really have one. Okay, let me try: An androgynous looking artist known as the Painter (Agathe de la Boulaye), who likes to wear white shirts and fancy suits, frequents a nightclub where she hooks up with a sassy nightclub singer known as the Girl (Claire Keim) for a one night stand. One night soon turns into something a little more regular. While the Girl thinks it is all very casual and even has a few men she sleeps with to further her career, the Painter becomes a little obsessed with the Girl.
The movie is very artsy and rather pretentious. This is French art movie at its worst and that is really saying something coming from someone like me who truly hates the whole genre with a vengeance. Most scenes have either little or no dialogue or an annoying voice over by the woman who plays the Painter. She says great intellectual stuff like:
“The Girl gives me a name. She calls me lover.
She never asks about my life. She doesn’t know anything about me.
When I’m not with her, I stop existing all together for her.
If need be she would say I’m a painter.
Who cares and why not are her favourite expressions.
She’s right. Who cares? And why not?”
The only good thing about this movie is that it is very short. It only lasts 83 minutes, but that is still 83 minutes of my life I am never getting back. Or really 166 minutes, as I watched this movie again just to be able to inform you guys properly. The things I do for eurOut.
Before you think that I’m just being negative, I want you to know that this movie received almost unanimous negative reviews from both professional critics as well as regular moviegoers. The only person I know who has ever said anything nice about this movie only did so because she was drooling over the suits the andro hottie is wearing.
I have to say, the DVD cover does look very hot, but don’t let that fool you. Trust me, this is not the kind of DVD you want to have in your collection. Unless, of course, you have a thing for suits and you think that that might just be enough to watch this movie over and over again. In that case, by all means go order it through Amazon today. Everyone else should make sure to stay the hell away from this movie. It sucks big time.
ha ha ...
Submitted by frosch411 on November 13, 2008 - 13:50.I so concur.
the film is best used as a healthy sleeping aid... pop it into yor dvd player and within five minutes you'll be in dreamland.. it's that boring! I too am obsessed with films with L content (well and GBT to a degree too).. but thank god this only cost me £3 second hand.. or else I'd be still so pissed off.. actually even £3 was too much for a plastic box with a piece of paper in it..
Everybody.. stay well clear of this movie (it's actually not even worth being called a movie!)... spend your hard earned dosh on a bar of chocolates... that will give you (lasting) pleasure at least... and instant happiness.. that film for sure won't.. so best to bin it.. or put it behind all your other good films...deeply burried in that pile of rubbish L films, of which we sadly have far too many.. sigh!
Otherwise: great review
Can't wait to read more !
*edit*
Happy belated Bday Natazz.. I see a fellow Scorpio.. and a good vintage too (1976) .. welcome to my world (the clue is in my name ;D)
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frosch411 online
Nope..
Submitted by DutchCJ on November 13, 2008 - 13:56....didn't like this one at all.
But it is not the worst lesbian themed movie I have ever seen, there is worse.
And the best has yet to be made
.
There is not one lesbian themed movie I can fullheartedly give an 8 or higher. Bummer.
******
Music is magic and it tickles my heart!
Gemma Hayes makes my heart beat faster faster faster....
http://www.myspace.com/dutchcj
I'm glad you guys agree
Submitted by Natazzz on November 13, 2008 - 17:12.Thanks for the Bday wishes Frosch411, it's always nice to meet a fellow Scorpio.
DutchCJ, I disagree, this is definitely the worst lesbian movie ever. I even think it is worse than Go Fish. Also, there's quite a few lesbian movies I would give an 8, including Fucking Amal, Fremde Haut and Imagine me and you.
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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
YW Natazz...
Submitted by frosch411 on November 13, 2008 - 23:24.sadly I've got to add one really bad bad L mvie to the list (trust me, this one is really bad, and on a par with The Girl!!!!!)
Make a wish (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328094/)
Appalling!!!!!!
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frosch411 online
Have you seen
Submitted by DutchCJ on November 13, 2008 - 17:34.An Intimate Friendship? For different reasons perhaps than The Girl, but it is the worst I have seen.
I do like FA and IMAY, and DEBS, Saving Face and Rome & Juliet and a few others, but no 8s yet
******
Music is magic and it tickles my heart!
Gemma Hayes makes my heart beat faster faster faster....
http://www.myspace.com/dutchcj
I have to admit...you're right DutchCJ
Submitted by Natazzz on November 13, 2008 - 19:49.OMG I just watched the trailer of An Intimate Friendship and that is some of the worst acting I have ever seen...
Please tell me you did not sit through the whole movie?
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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
movie with an 8 or better
Submitted by Miss.Skeene on November 14, 2008 - 00:39.I think "Puccini for Beginners" is a really good L movie. it blurrs the lines when it comes to many people's (apparently so rigid and one-directional) sexual orientation (gay as well as straight). But, at the same time, it doesn't take itself seriously....so it's not moralizing or anything. it has great barbs in it, too. it's really fun to watch and smart and witty, good acting too of course!
www.missskeene.blogspot.com
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Somos una gente
Hay tantísimas fronteras
que dividen a la gente
pero por cada frontera
existe también un puente
(Gina Valdés )
Same mistake
Submitted by wobin on November 14, 2008 - 06:41.I did the same mistake, I bought on-line a bunch of L theme DVDs, The Girl was one of them, what a waste of time !!!
Now I download them and if I really like the movie I buy the DVD
Among my favorites: Imagine me & you, when night is falling, loving Annabelle
Loving Annabelle
Submitted by Natazzz on November 14, 2008 - 11:31.Great choices Wobin.
I heart Loving Annabelle. That's definitely a movie worth high marks.
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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
Loving Annabelle
Submitted by Miss.Skeene on November 14, 2008 - 15:52.well, Loving Annabelle is a good movie. But compared to Puccini for Beginners I'd say it's only "okay." Loving A. seems rather "flat", i.e. no message... it's good entertainment though! About "When Night is Falling" I permanently oscillate between liking it and finding it ridiculous...I think it heavily depends on the mood I am in when I watch it. Everyone who likes When Night is Falling will probably also like The Gymnast!
www.missskeene.blogspot.com
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Yeah, Loving Annabelle is nice...
Submitted by Embla on November 14, 2008 - 15:53....but I didn't like the ending... What happened to "happily ever after"? Yes, yes...I know she was her teacher, but come on!!
My favorites include of course the lovely and sweet "Fucking Åmål", but also "Bound" is an all time fav of mine. I love the film noir feel of it and the plot is great. And it's certainly not a drawback that Gina Gershon is killer hot in it:)
Happy End?
Submitted by maxime68 on November 14, 2008 - 19:13.Looking for a film with happy ending? "Saving Face". I really liked that one.
I've seen The Gymnast, the choreography was very sensuous. Definitely something for the eye. ;-) And even if it doesn't a proper Happy End, it ends on a positive note.
I kind of liked the ending...
Submitted by MeL on November 14, 2008 - 21:56.The ending is actually one of the things I really like about Loving Annabelle. Don't get me wrong, I usually prefer happy endings as well, but I think the ending is right for this movie. *runs away and ducks*
I'm glad that I only rented The Girl (three cheers for online DVD rental), because I completely agree with you that it's one of the worst L movies out there.
One movie I really like, even though it's kind of silly, is DEBS. I think Jordana Brewster is soooooo hot in this movie, and Holland Taylor is just hilarious, as always.
~ Be who you are, whoever you are. ~
Yes, it's true, LA has no
Submitted by Natazzz on November 14, 2008 - 22:13.Yes, it's true, LA has no message or a happy ending. It does not even have that much of a plot. But, it is so very very HOT. Sometimes, that is all it takes...
I agree with Mel, I heart the ending. Besides, when you have an affair with a student/teacher, things usually don't end happily.
I am probably one of the few people who does not love Bound. Sure, it's an ok movie, but I honestly do not get what is so amazing about it.
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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
LA sort of
Submitted by DutchCJ on November 15, 2008 - 09:34.got a happy ending. And I want my movies to end happy, so I just edited my copy of LA with the alternate ending Katherine Brooks (the director) gave us after many many many "negative" comments on the original ending.
Well actually I don't know if that is what happened, but I am glad she did the extra scene 
. Much better and happier 
Still no 8 though for LA. Okay I will stop now.
Anyone liked Rome and Juliet at all? I did, it almost got an 8. Okay now I really really will stop it.
******
Music is magic and it tickles my heart!
Gemma Hayes makes my heart beat faster faster faster....
http://www.myspace.com/dutchcj
Bound...welll
Submitted by Miss.Skeene on November 15, 2008 - 07:45.I agree with you, Natazzz, on Bound. It is an okay movie but really nothing more. Definitely too bloddy for my taste. And, sorry, Gina Gershon, though usually a beautiful woman, just gives me the creeps in that one...especially when she does those things with her tongue (yuck!). And Jennifer Tilly's voice is unbearable, too!
Anyway, I still want to promote "Puccini for Beginners". Hasn't really anyone seen that movie??? What about "Kissing Jessica Stein"? It's not as suugestive as Puccini but likewise witty with language! Like that one too!
www.missskeene.blogspot.com
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I guess it's all just a matter of taste...
Submitted by Natazzz on November 15, 2008 - 08:58.While I agree with you on Bound, I really did not like Kissing Jessica Stein.
It's not a bad movie, but the whole straight-girl-thinks-she-might-like-women thing always rubs me the wrong way.
I actually haven't seen Puccini for Beginners (I'm such a bad lesbian!)
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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
great review :)
Submitted by Sandra Showtime on November 15, 2008 - 14:33.i didn't see it, but now i know that i also don't have to *gg
but i saw loving annabelle and liked it. mostly because i can relate to that topic :p oh, and because the girl was smoking all the time :) [Sandra Showtime doesn't recommend smoking at all! She just thinks it's fun and hot]
It saw Bound lately for the first time and found it was smart and good acted. Especially the boyfriend of the girl with the weird voice was just...aww great acting :)
Oh that one...
Submitted by Amy.M on November 15, 2008 - 20:30.I think I watch 10 minutes of that movie and didn't make it through more. I'm a bad lesbian for movies (well for everything?
) but from the one you all mentioned, Bound and Imagine Me and You are my favorite.
Bound because the acting, directing, storyline is great and it's really clever and new. I love that the fact that the lesbian content was not the central issue so that it makes it totally "normal". I wish it was like that all the time in life.
Imagine Me and You because I found it touching even when it was cheesy, and I also had a crush on Lena Headey right away :P
Loving Annabelle, I didn't like it... I think it's because I didn't like the actresses. Something didn't click in me with them together...
Kissing Jessica Stein: ARGH! I hated that movie! So fucking frustrating!
I didn't see Saving Face and Puccini for Beginners, but as I said I didn't watch that many lesbian movie (because I think most of them suck big time!)
The one that I loved too but that is a TV movie is If these walls could talk 2. I loved the first two stories, not so much the last one.